Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Fast Read: "Welcome to the Bayou" by Victor Gischler

Quick Read: Welcome to the Bayou by Victor Gischler, 9780785133780, 2009.

A Punisher comic book. Punisher is driving through rural Lousisiana with a guy in his trunk. Stops at ratty gas station at same time as co-eds and their boyfriends. Fast driving co-eds do not pass Punisher. Punisher gets itchy and investigates. Finds mega-hot crazy chick at house behind gas station. Punisher drives away and walks back. Finds that the four kids have been kidnapped by in-bred, mutated, hillbilly cannibals.

Punisher punishes. Punisher is caught. Punisher is punished. Punisher escapes through help of the guy who had been in his trunk, got out of the trunk, and was also captured by the cannibals. Punisher and Trunk Guy kill more cannibals. Punisher kills mega-large, MasterBlaster-style mutant. Trunk Guy wanders off. Punisher rescues last surviving co-ed. Punisher kills bat-shit crazy mega-hot chick.

Second story called Little Black Book. Punisher blackmails whore to get access into a drug kingpin's home. Punisher kills people. Whore is redeemed through violence. Or something like that.

Third unwritten story called Gischler and Bikini Bottoms. Gischler sees initial illustrations for the first story. Gischler tells artist, "Can we get some more illustrations of the co-eds in their underwear?"

Comments:
1. Gratuitous shotgun violence.
2. Gratuitous butt shots.
3. Gratuitous use of Colt wheelgun.
4. Gratuitous cannibalism.
5. Needed more underwear girls.
EDIT: 6. Needed gratuitous nipples.

EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION: This is a positive review. You know what was a good book? Pistol Poets. I should re-read that one.

2 comments:

Victor Gischler said...

So ... is this review positive or negative. So hard to tell with you.

VG

Gerard Saylor said...

EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION: This is a positive review. You know what was a good book? Pistol Poets. I should re-read that one.