QUIT: "Saturn Run" by John Sandford and Ctein

Quit: Saturn Run by John Sandford and Ctein, 2015, downloaded from Wisconsin Digital Library.

I figured to try this novel out since I had not read a Sandford novel in a while. This might have been an OK book if something actually happened.

Here is the plot: in 2066 some people at CalTech discover evidence of a alien spacecraft approaching Saturn. The news is kept secret as the U.S. decides what to do and how to get to Saturn. When the spacecraft leaves Saturn it is discovered by amateur astronomers and the U.S. and China are in a race over who gets to Saturn and gains a scientific advantage by acquiring super advanced technology. [Whether or not that technology can actually be taken or sneaked away from such a super advanced alien society was not covered before I quite listening.]

A crew is assembled. A propulsion method devised. A space station repurposed. A vain President appeased. The space craft goes on it's way. Sabotage slows the ship. Someone gets killed. I give up.

I stayed with the book hoping something interesting would happen. After a character was killed off I hoped things would improve. Nope. The whole novel just kinda loped along with some sex talk, some technical talk, plenty of space travel talk, counter espionage scheming, blah, blah, blah.

There were a few things that actively pissed me off. One is how all the characters have to be introduced with their alma mater. "Joe Blow was a brilliant scientist who attended MIT. Jill Blow was a brilliant scientist from Stanford. Jane Brain is a brilliant scientist from Harvard and Oxford." Your value is only as good as the college you went to. For fuck's sake. You know who went to Harvard? Jared Goddamn Kushner. All the "MIT this" and "MIT that" started to annoy the hell out of me.

Another thing is how characters and authors treat sex like a bunch of 7th graders. "Will they do it?! Are they doing it?! Ohh-la-la. Hubba hubba. Bless  my stars." I think of the psychology 101 freshmen who writes "SEX!" in big letters and then goes,  "Got your attention now? Hee-hee. I'm just kidding. I want to sell my futon. Call for details." Jesus H. Christ.

Even the characters who are given some character were pretty boring.

• One main character is stock from a romance novel: Deadly Handsome Super Rich War Hero With Combat PTSD But A Loving Side. 
• Chubby But Brilliant, Hard Working, and Cute Science Woman Who Acquires Deadly Handsome Hero. 
• Poker Faced Counter Intelligence Chief With A Hidden and Tragic Past.
• Ball Busting High-Heel-Wearing President With a Hair Trigger Temper.
• Wacky But Loveable Old Man Scientist Who Won't Leave Earth Without His Cat and Some Marijuana

Fuck that noise. I gave up. I started Animal Farm and I just downloaded Abbott, Jr.'s brand spanking new novel. Hell, Abbott's new novel is about scientists and I fucking guarantee it will probably be just as fucking brilliant as her other books and without all the bullshit of Saturn Run.