Just Finished: It's not easy bein' me: A lifetime of no respect and plenty of sex and drugs by Rodney Dangerfield, 2004, 0066211077.
Humorous. What a horrible family Dangerfield had. His mother was a complete bitch who never hugged or kissed him or gave him a present. When Dangerfield was a kid he would see his dad twice a year for about two hours per year.
Rodney struggled in show business for several years until he figured he should get a real job and ended up selling aluminum siding until his mid-thirties when he went back to comedy because he was so miserable as a salesman.
The day my wife and I got married - that was a beauty. I gave her the ring and she gave me the finger.
My doctor's a very strange man. I said to him, "Doc, what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?" He told me, "The taste."
Last week, I had a bad experience. I went to a nude beach. They kicked me out. They told me it's impolite to point.
I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
I tell ya one thing, my wife keeps me in line. No matter how many guys are ahead of me.
My wife and I, we both love Las Vegas. She likes to play the slots, and I like to play the sluts.
I told my psychiatrist, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
Oh, the other night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble is, she was coming home.
I went to the store to buy some rat poison and the clerk said, "Shall I wrap it, or do you want to eat it here?"